#i need a British man now

[kittie2cut3]

If you're BRITISH HMU RN PLEASE OR AUSTRALIAN OR LIKE FRENCH ANYTHING WITH AN ACCENT 😩

[bluebirbbb]

little arthur malevolent lester portrait because my brain is full of him

[protagonist-art]

"Uh- I'm Arnold. Bennett. It's profoundly difficult to get your lifes works and studies accepted if your name isn't... yes, oh! Are you a fan of moths, sir?"

NEW RDR2 OC!! a reclusive, clumsy entomologist and bug collector; cooped up in his study of uniformed clutter

[butterflieswhisper]

tori sitting on the stairs is so. the lighting in heartstopper is awesome big fan of the blue/orange. is tori also depressed in the show i still think it would be so fucking funny to offhandedly mention her school burning down

[lerios]

the first 5 seconds of time war 2

narvin voiceover: this is how the world ends 😔

me, leela, the doctor, any non time lord that's ever been to Gallifrey:

[quatregats]

hello Please Please do tell us about your 'the famous flower of serving men' story for the aubreyad (judging by the folk song alone I am intrigued!!)

...also I am of course interested in hornblower the tank engine.

The Famous Flower of Serving Men Aubreyad Crossover is entirely the fault of me getting brainworms about that song and then making it about my blorbos even though it is patently Not About That. It's somewhat of a fantasy AU and it is considerably less Bleak and Bloody than the song, which for those who are unfamiliar is about a pretty awful situation (warning: it is 10 minutes long and will put you into a trance despite being Bleak and Bloody), but otherwise it has a lot of what it says on the tin. Also I wrote it while reading Canigó so some of that might have seeped in. Here is a snippet:

One day in the early fall, the king was preparing for a hunting trip. The kingdom was at peace: the harvest had been bountiful and the people were content. The borderlands to the south were full of thick forests and fine game, and the king longed for a ride through the fresh air of the mountains before winter set in and confined him to his halls. “I’ll be back in a fortnight,” he said. “And I’ll leave the house to you—I hope you’ll keep it in good order.” His friend’s face looked oddly drawn and tight. “I will keep it in as good an order as I have every day, and I do not need your prying eye to help me,” he bit back. “It will only be a fortnight,” the king said, unsure of the source of this sudden displeasure. “And I will tell you of all the birds and beetles and snakes when I return.” “Sure, and I will be happy to hear of them,” the man agreed, but the unhappy look did not disappear from his face even as the king rode away the next morning at dawn.

And, well, for your interest in Hornblower the Tank Engine, I will provide you with a Rev. W Audry-style beginning-of-book letter, since I have almost finished writing this lad and will try to publish it soon-ish:

Dear Reader, Some of you have been asking about a little tank engine named Hornblower, who has been very hard at work on the Indefatigable Branch Line as of late. Some of you might have heard of his adventures with Exploding Bridges or Plague-Ridden Cattle. Not many people, though, know about his time at the dockyards, and about how he went up against a very dangerous engine and nearly won. He told me that story last September, and his Controller thinks that he has been such a Useful Engine as of late that I should tell it in a Book. We both agreed that he was Very Brave, and we think that it is high time other people thought that too. We hope you enjoy his story. Sincerely, The Author

[0f-the-cosmos]

okay i feel like i need to say this: when i made camille (zigverse marauders people, iykyk) i Did Not know about supernatural. @anotherlesbiandad literally why didn’t you stop me from giving her the last name winchester?

[thetardisisnotourdivision]

I can't fucking believe that I procrastinated my gender for like. A good three years.

[tvs-coach]

Part 1 of a reoccuring series of sketches from Series 10 of Spitting Image, "The Making Of Major"

[leqclerc]

sorry for the incoming rant but italian tifosi on twitter are being weird about xavi again :/

i haven't watched it so i can't confirm, but apparently charles in his twitch stream said that – in addition to his family and andrea – the person he trusts the most is xavi (especially re: constructive criticism and hashing out mistakes), and some people are freaking tf out and being so mean

i really don't understand how people can't see that xavi is most times just the middle man between charles and whatever the hell goes on in the strategy pitwall's brains! also they're full on invalidating charles's feelings on the matter (and have been doing it for the whole last season/s too)?? people are so vocal about wanting his head but. he's not the real problem!! :/

Hello! Omg no don't be sorry, thank you for sending this in!! I love how I'm the Xavi protection squad on here asdfsdjfj 😤

Yes! Louder for the people in the back 👏🏻 People have really latched onto this idea that he's one of Ferrari's main issues and all the communication issues and strategic mishaps and poorly calculated pitstop problems would magically disappear, which...? Like you said, during the races he's mostly the messenger passing info from the pitwall to Charles and vice versa. He is not responsible for the strategy calls or tyre choices or anything like that.

I know they'd never do it because you'd be exposing way too much sensitive information but realistically a pitwall cam or something could shine a light on how these decisions are made and crucially who makes these calls, exactly. I'm curious to see how they portray the pitstop mishap in Monaco in DTS (the trailer showed some Ferrari pitwall footage, but I'm willing to bet that's just filler and we won't actually learn anything new from it.)

And you make a great point about people invalidating Charles's feelings and words just because it doesn't suit the narrative that Xavi must be awful and incompetent and stupid. Of course the dramatic radios stick in people's heads because they keep getting replayed and then confirmation bias does the rest. If Charles maintains they have a good working relationship and he trusts him with constructive criticism and hashing out mistakes then... I mean... that's a good thing? Shouldn't we be happy about that?

Xavi's very good at praising Charles for a job well done and tries to lift him up when things don't go their way. He's 110% on his side and it's obvious he wants to see him succeed. And I love watching them pull dummy calls on the Red Bulls 😤👏🏻

Yeah, they disagree sometimes. Charles sometimes gets upset over something or other. But like. So does every other driver? 🫠 It's not like Lewis has never snapped at Bono or vocally expressed his disgruntlement or disagreement over a pitwall call. Anyone remember Max yelling frantically at GP when he had that DRS issue? Getting a whole new race engineer to work with five seasons in, trying to build up that understanding and rapport and trust all over again... imo it would just unnecessarily make things harder for Charles, when Xavi's not even the root of the problem.

To summarize:

[specialgrades]

NAWWWWW CAUSE NIKOLAI TOO??? HES KINDDAAAAAAAA 🤭

i wanted to shake him violently watching the game bc of the betrayal + have a Thing (/neg) with brits playing voicing eastern european characters but... it's. neil newbon. my white man of the month. he gets a pass. this time

[late-tothe-party-07]

*kicks open door after listening to episode 60 *

ITS ELIAS

Based on all the little scraps I got from spoilers cause I was too curious and impatient, along with the clues Im getting now, I just know its that fricking sus british man (Elias, not Jon).

For one, because of the spoilers I only know that Elias is revealed to be evil later, that his name is Jonah and that he can assumingly watch and know things about others. Keep in mind thats all the facts I have. I dont have the hows or the whys to give me enough dots to smoothly connect Elias to all these cases of people being watched from Jon to Gertrude to the man from the Crusader episode to the woman in this episode.

Theres probably more but my memory is crap (I should really start making a map with red string and notecards but I dont have enough room).

Now I could be wrong because someone (or more likely something) could've killed Gertrude, but my guess is leaning hard on Elias.

Idk what those papers were about though. The ones the lady in ep. 60 had thrown away or smth and replaced the cargo with petrol that was absolutely going to the Magnus Institute. However in on of the animatics I watched that had spoilers galore (see: "Martin's arson asmr" on youtube) Elias was very adamant that Martin didnt burn any more statements and went to harsh lengths to make sure Martin didnt.

Idk whats going on with that the same way I dont know why the tape recorder in THAT video seemed sentient or smth. Maybe in order to read their minds or watch them, they have to have a statement in the Archives, but that doesnt make too much sense seeing as how the man from the Crusader episode hadn't put in a statement and he felt the feeling of being watched just as much as the others, and Jon felt like that before he gave his own statement after episode 39.

I NEED ANSWERS!!

[lakemichigans]

okay season 12 actually rocks idk why i hated it so much the first time i saw it

[captainshyguy]

i’ve been watching the great british bake of 2019 with my mum and it cracked my brain open like an egg so i will be insane for like a week probably heads up lol

[hesgomorrah]

did i miss something or do we ever get an explanation for that one redcoat in the war games? like there's absolutely no ambiguity as to when or where he's from, but there's no 1745 zone. he was seemingly abducted all by himself, which doesn't fit into the war lords' plan at all.

their interaction was already a great display of jamie's character development, but all i'm saying is can you imagine how things might have gone down if there had been a '45 zone

[goleb]

Have you ever thought up a DHMIS fairy tale AU, or something in the realm of fantasy? For the former, I’m not sure there’s many fairy tales focusing on good parental relationships��but there’s plenty of potential for Fluffybird!

Y'know, funny thing is when I started writing up an answer to this ask, the first class I had the next day had a test revision entirely themed around fairy tales. Ain't that a coincidence? My life's full of those. Also that was on Monday, I'm so sorry, I've been way too busy lately ): 

Certainly, I've thought up plenty of things over these Royful years, fantasy-esque ones included. And I'll probably only remember half of them after I already hit post. Some of them, granted, still only concepts and not-yet-developed ideas, but I like to put a lot of care into those things and that's why it takes me years to get them done, you know. But they'll all get their time to shine, eventually, when something clicks. 

Now, fairy tales... yeah, fairy tales aren't exactly a genre of many parents, good ones especially. In my - admittedly perhaps limited - knowledge of the topic, it seems you're significantly more likely to find parental figures who were good but died, or are alive but not good very bad. And, I'm sure you could tell, I'm not about that. Not when we're talking Roy. Roy is a fantastic dad. Roy would not send his kid out into the woods unattended. 

But! Art is all about invention. And if you ever find me unable to make something about Roy, that ain't me. As for romance, I do love a good romance. It's everywhere in the Roylore, if you know where to look. Why, would you like me to provide you with some shipping content? :P Haven't really thought about it before, to be honest, but can do, I suppose, can do. 

But back to my stories! 

There is one particular one I've probably mentioned a few times before, and it's actually one of my most finished ones! Because I've been working on it for like 4.5 years now, good lord! I've got a pretty large piece of the first draft done. Not all of it, but most, definitely. Yeah, definitely. Without spoiling much, it takes place in the faux olden times. It's extremely loosely inspired by Little Red Riding Hood, or more specifically a retelling of it I had to read for a BritLit class once. 

Roy - because it's always about Roy - is what could be best described as a wolf-selkie in that one. So's Yellow. I mean, obviously so's Yellow. They're family. They can freely switch between human and wolf form, so long as they have their skin with them. Not to be confused with werewolves - and they'd be quite offended if you did - because a werewolf is a human that was turned into a wolf via curse, and wolf selkies are all natural. Red Guy's also there. He's a human. Or, well, as much of a human as he can be. I love telling my friends about this story without mentioning the wolf part purely for their reactions when they get to the part where Roy outruns and hunts down an entire horse. 

The aforementioned retelling actually helped me out, with one particular unimportant scene, in picking who the villain of this story was gonna be. Y'see I made this little challenge for myself a while back where I'd make an AU specifically tailored to match one of the teachers as the antagonist. It's still not done yet, you've no idea how difficult some of them are to typecast. Shrignold is the only one so far that's been proving cooperative, I simply adore antagonising the fucker. But this one... this one was good. It was easy. 

And just because I can, here’s a couple more of these contextless lines. 🤭 

And uh. Speaking of Little Red, I have at some point entertained the thought of Little Red... Riding... Guy... as a joke - a joke which practically wrote itself! - and you can consider that idea a precursor to the above. 

On a completely different topic, the Witcher's fantasy, right? Cause you can bet I got into the Witcher purely for the Roy AU potential. Same reason I got into Kingsman (remind me to do something about that, by the way). S'not my fault Roy handling deadly weapons is such a compelling thought. Give my boy a sword. He deserves one. As a treat. 

My point is, really, who's a better fit for a witcher than Roy? They've got so much in common! Though obviously Roy's story is significantly different from Geralt's. Less relationship drama. More juggling getting life-threatening contracts and trying to raise a kid. Max is there as the only actually Polish guy. Also Red Guy? Definitely a bard. Maybe not exactly the best at it but he is one. There’s plenty more I could say about this one, but I’ll save that for another post. This one’s getting a bit long already, haha.